25 Years Ago, Today
Twenty-five years ago today, my brother was born. His birth was much anticipated, by me. I am more than five and a half years older than my brother, so I was quite aware throughout the process that my mother was pregnant and that my brother would be on the way. To say that I was excited would be an understatement.
If I’m a somewhat demanding adult, I was a very demanding child. I persistently and loudly demanded a brother from my parents for months if not years, and perhaps through manifestation, but maybe more likely by luck, I got a brother; my brother.
The moment when my parents told me I was going to have a brother is a bit hazy, but I do remember such a moment. I can’t remember if it was my mother or father that told me first, but I do remember that they were together when they told me. I think it was my mother. I recall standing in the tiny hallway of our tiny house between my parents room and my own looking up at my parents, who then seemed giants. It was an important announcement.
I remember sensing that it was important before they told me. I was probably not quite even five years old. It wasn’t too often that my parents had to jointly tell me anything important. Actually, it‘s the only time that that I can recall my parents ever jointly telling me something important. It probably ought to remain that way. I can’t think of anything else that I would want to happen that’s still possible important enough to justify my parents telling me jointly.
I was elated. I was a hyperactive child, so I probably ran around excitedly. At some point I made a song that I would belch that the top of lungs about my brother that would drive everyone crazy, and after he was born I would sing that song to him. The song didn’t really make any sense, but it had a distinctive tune that I remember to this day, and the chorus mostly went, “my baby brother;” long, drawn out.
When my brother first came into existence in my life, I experienced him as an idea. My imagination built his first frame in mind. It strikes me to consider that others have schema for us before we’re even here, and that subtly to bluntly, depending on the particular circumstance, affects who we become.
I’m trying to remember what I imagined my brother would be like, and I can’t really. All I have an impression. Perhaps my own brain was not yet developed enough to imagine an appearance, or career, or personality. I would think I that I would have thought or wanted my brother to be very much like me, but I actually think that I did. What I remember was a fairly unconditional love and excitement for my baby sibling.
More than twenty five years later, what began in my world as an abstract object of familial love and attachment, is now very much a person. In some ways he has changed a lot. At twenty five, his prefrontal cortex is likely now fully developed. While he will always be my baby brother, I can’t hold anything over him before — at this age, my brother are developmental equals, except if anything, his relative youth gives a material edge. I ought to defer to him on much.
What also hasn’t changed is that first instinct I had about my brother; the love, joy, and excitement. There is something unique about a sibling bond. For as long as I exist, my baby brother will always be an object of my unconditional love, and a source of joy and excitement for me by doing nothing more than just existing.
I am thankful for collaborative effort between my parents and the universe to gift me exactly the brother that I demanded, and I am humbled in acknowledging the twenty five years, plus a few months in the womb, that he has been in my life.
In twenty five years, by brother has impressed and surpassed in ways I would have never imagined. Who knew that my brother would have prodigious talents in music, athletics, gaming, and anything involving programming. I would envy his reaction time and hand-eye coordination if I felt any envy towards him, but in reality all I feel is genuine pride and joy in his success accomplishments.
It has a been a joy being a big brother and watching these first twenty five years, and I am excited to see what he makes of the next twenty five.